Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Land Between

Oftentimes I find myself wanting a more black and white life; I desire to leave the worries of work life behind for the day and fully enter my home life. I want to know if it's going to rain OR snow tomorrow...not a "43% chance of a "wintry mix." And mostly these days, I long to know if I am truly on my way to full healing or if I am just waiting for the next surgery to come along and interrupt our life and hopes and plans.

There are more shades of grey for the Hershey's than any pure black or pure white colors. We have traveled through these undesired transitions and "the land between" for so long, I'm not yet convinced there is an end in sight. Maybe time will show us my hips are moving toward COMPLETE healing, or, maybe I'll need more minor surgeries, or, maybe I learn to live with a level of physical pain for the rest of my life. We simply don't know. Even so, these two years have taught Nate and I the value of grey. While it may be very possible to move through these life tragedies with little growth, they have provided us with the greatest of opportunities to trust our God, to rely on our precious community and family, and to continue building the love story that is our marriage. God has met us in this emotional and physical upheaval; He has showered goodness amidst these upsetting and unsettling two years of pain, surgeries, more surgeries, and recoveries. The grey has been formative and forgiving to us.

Practically, we feel more and more as though we're moving out of the "land between." On February 24th we received hopeful news from Dr. Clohisy. The x-rays show the revision went as best as he could anticipate; the overcorrected was corrected, the labral tear repaired, and the impingement gone. Dr. C is a very humble doctor; it was apparent, though, that he was very pleased with his work! We too are pleased. He lifted many of my restrictions: I have no flexion restrictions (except for lunges, but at least I can tie my own shoes!), I can drive, start PT, and return to work. All of these things have occurred in the past few weeks and it has been good to return to some normal life rhythms. I have even returned to my kitchen, armed and ready to make the recipes I've been reading about this past month!

As opposed to the last time around, Dr. Clohisy wants me to wait another month and stay 50% weight bearing on my crutches/walker as to provide extra care to this hip that has been broken and operated on twice now. The bone has grown in but he wants me to be more conservative than I was on my right hip...no swimming yet and only bike riding at the gym with no resistance. I practically begged him to let me have time on the bike as he first told me no exercise at all. I'm grateful as it has been healing to return to the YMCA, if only to sit and move my legs for 30 minutes. Nate reminds me that I'll be swimming and walking the neighborhood in no time.

I am feeling super good about my left hip's healing process. I am still achy and especially so after returning to work. I am confident good things are in store for the left side. My right hip, however, which has been bearing all of my weight, continues to display bursitis both on the outer hip and in the groin/psoas area. My fears tell me I've re-torn the labrum. Dr. Clohisy says he has no reason to believe this and it's due to inflammation..."just give it some time," he says. Again, he reminds me this is the first time in 2 years that my right hip and left hip will share weight while residing in the place they were designed to be. It will take time...but, it means more grey areas. More land in between for awhile still.

While we wait to heal fully, we celebrate good things around us, like a 32nd birthday for me, and a visit to the Super Bowl (in our fine Hoosier city!!) for my darling husband and sweet brother:



1 comment:



  1. Hi,

    I was wondering if you accepted any guest posting regarding hip pain and hip replacement surgery on your site? I couldn’t manage to find your email on the site. If you could get a hold of me at ahayes@drugwatch.com, I would greatly appreciate it!

    Thanks,
    -Aubrey

    ReplyDelete