Uuuuugggggg!

Ouch. I have a new love/hate relationship with the Graston Technique. It has been the only thing that has worked to start the process of accurately massaging my nerves. It is absolutely painful but incredibly worth the suffering. My PT and I plan to try this once a week and see how it helps with nerve fibers, tenderness, and swelling.

http://www.grastontechnique.com/

The Fall breaks in and I broke out of my house!

Woot Woot---Week 11 arrives!

I had a great check-up with the doc last week. I thought he was going to keep me on crutches for two more weeks, but instead, a week ago, he told me to move to the cane. I have two more weeks left on the cane (which he considers to be almost full weight bearing) and then I can hopefully walk without any assistance. The first week I truly needed the cane and felt unsteady. Now I am getting used to it and find myself strengthening more and more. My range of motion seems to be increasing and numbness even seems to be decreasing. That said, I am sitting here with ice on my leg because it feels so darn good.

Jen told me she will get me a top hat to go with my cane. I think our youth at Outreach would get a kick out of this look.

I increased my acetabular coverage by over 20 degress--I was so glad when Dr. Scheid shared this news.

I will start PT on Friday (2-3 times a week for 6 weeks). I will go as much as they'll let me--we didn't hit our deductible for nothing! I hope to try out aquatic therapy which provides an underwater treadmill in a warm pool. This may or may not be that helpful, says Dr. Scheid, since he now wants me to start weight bearing. The pool may help but from the chest down it's non weight bearing.

On a different note, the husband and I escaped Indianapolis this past weekend to rendezvous with my beautiful friends and family. Oh, and Nate got to see, in person, the Nittany Lions prance all over those Wolverines this weekend! A nice treat after 10 weeks of nursing me back to health.

approaching 7 weeks

Day 47 on this PAO journey. It's 10-10-10 and 90 degrees here in Indianapolis. Where did you go, Autumn?

Went to church today and rode the recumbent bike while watching the Colts beat the Chiefs today! I paid for it, though, as I came with a shooting pain down the left side of my left quad. I've been icing for some time now.

Altogether, I know and feel I am getting stronger. The days begin to feel more normal. I return to work for half days starting tomorrow. I can now drive myself around and feel infinitely more independent. I am moving slowly, and taking small steps toward independence slowly. My body tells me I have to. I'm thankful I have not resorted back to my heavy meds even when the pain is intense. Starting Wednesday, I can bear 50 lbs. of weight on my left leg. I am anxious to begin PT and do believe the recumbent bike has helped to keep my stamina and strength throughout this healing period.

As I return to Outreach, Inc. tomorrow, I know I will require more sleep and longer periods of rest. Stress can manifest itself in my body so easily; I will need to "listen" to stress indicators and respect the weaning process.

Progress

Mom took me on Wednesday to OrthoIndy for my 5 week check-up.

Dr. Scheid pulled up my latest x-ray and was happy to see that my hip "took" and it is healing in such a way that he is content. The first thing we noticed were 5 LONG SCREWS in my pelvis holding it all together. I've known there are screws in my body but now I see them, and it brings another level of reality. The three cuts in bone Dr. Scheid made are still growing back together. It was truly worth celebrating when we saw the comparison between my right and left (operated) hip. The left hip now (minus the screws and breaks0 looks normal...ball fitting into socket and all. Incredible! God has gifted Dr. Scheid with such precision and knowledge.

I can now bear 25 lbs of weight on my left foot, which is really helpful in my crutching endeavors. You basically figure this weight by putting your foot on a scale and seeing what 25 lbs. feels like.

Due to the bone still growing/healing, I can't start PT for another month, but I can continue on the bike as well as some exercises to build strength.

Altogether, we were grateful for the news. I did ask Dr. Scheid for our own copy of the x-ray. Now we can frame it and put it in our front room :)

We continue onward.

5 Weeks In...

A friend just reminded me that I haven't updated in almost a week.

I will have more of a formal medical update on Wednesday (following my appointment with Dr. Scheid), but for now, I want to introduce you to my new mode of transportation: Millienial Crutches

These have come highly recommended by top athletes and a few hip chicks. I waited all week on that UPS man to deliver them...and they came on Thursday. It took some time to get used to walking with them after using a walker for over a month. The shock absorbers are especially helpful as it bears some weight for me.

We celebrated a friends birthday yesterday. It was a lovely day with friends but it took the wind out of me to be up on the crutches for most of the day. Both my left hip and my right hip were in pain. I slept deeply last night and the swelling has gone back down. Speaking of sleep, I have had some fitful nights of sleep as I've been weaning off of the pain meds. I'm now almost totally on Tylenol (5 weeks in...I should have tried it a few weeks ago!) and this mostly does the trick. The Norco and Ultram are tucked away for now, for emergency use only. This feels like yet another milestone.

I'm also beginning to tap back into work remotely. I feel tired most of the day still so I do what I can and sleep when I need to. I look forward to a full and hopefully energized return to Outreach, Inc. (www.outreachindiana.org) in the next few weeks.

I continue on the recumbent bike a few times a week at the YMCA. This is my sanity these days (a shout out to my taxi drivers: Patrick, Matt, and Nate). I have avoided more swimming as it simply feels like too much energy to put on a bathing suit, get in and out of the pool, dry off, etc. I'm thankful to Dad and Deb for the use of their outdoor pool during this recovery period--seeing as though it's 49 degrees outside right now, I'm thinking those summer days are over!

Thank you, Jesus, that we have made it to 5 weeks!

And just for fun, here's a picture of my hot male nurse standing on the mountainside of the Napali coast on our (pre-surgery) trip to Kauai this summer:

Day 28

It's Tuesday, September 21, 2010 and the official start of Autumn is TOMORROW, September 22 at 11:09pm ET! Fall is by far my favorite season of all. But, it's also 94 degrees in Indianapolis today--a record high.

Oh, and also, I'm 4 weeks into my recovery and week 5 starts today! Hallelujah!

Can you tell I'm counting down the days to normal life again?

I'm in the same couch position where I've written most of these posts, but feeling dramatically different than I was a few weeks back.

I am down to taking pain meds every 7 or 8 hours and my range of motion continues to improve. My swelling has decreased but is still evident. I still ice most of the day.

I hope I'm healing in ways I need to be; I have my post-op visit next Wednesday and look forward to seeing progress. In the meantime, Giada and "John Adams" have kept me good company.

The emotional load feels heavy still. I am severely dependent on others for almost all of my needs (though I've made major strides--getting my own breakfast, getting out of bed on my own, and even putting on socks when I'm sitting at the right angle!) and this is a hard and yet necessary reality. I wake each day in hopes that I will use a given hardship as a time of reflection and drawing near to God. When hope feels far away, I can spiral into negativity and wonder if this will ever come to an end:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. Phillipians 4:8-9

Hard day and a severely foul mood yesterday.

Better day today.

Beth came for a visit and reminded me of better days ahead.

I will take my fourth shower since the surgery 23 days ago. For having a broken pelvis, I seem to be doing much better than expected getting in and out of the shower.(Sharon V.--I can't thank you enough for providing some humanity in the form of that shower chair!).

Then I will likely nap again.

As a side bar, it's a happy day in our neighborhood as the house that caught on fire back in March is FINALLY being demolished and leveled. I'm looking forward to a better view from our front room!

THANK YOU for mental health boosters:

Milestones and Week 4 begins

Another week has passed; it's time for an holistic update on this hip of mine.


Muscle strength and mobility:

A few weeks ago I could hardly imagine sitting on the edge of my hospital bed. My left leg was so limp it felt dead. I literally feel my muscles forming more and more each day. I get stronger and can now get to the bathroom and out of bed on my own (I'm without 24 hour care now, so that's a good thing!). Dr. Scheid recommended that I start on the recumbent bike and a little pool therapy last week. I did both of these (two times each) and once again, I feel more strength every day. I shared with some of you that on my first attempt at the recumbent bike (I had to lift up my leg and stick it in the strap) I had to go so slowly the machine picked up that I was on PAUSE the entire time. That felt a little discouraging but I had to laugh at it too! My range of motion seems to be increasing each day and I now find I can lift my leg off of the ground while standing on my walker.

For those of you who were not able to get on a recumbent bike or in the pool at 2-3 weeks, don't worry! I've heard of some of you starting at week 5. All of our bodies are so different and heal differently.

Dr. Scheid believes that being an athlete beforehand (I went to the gym the day before surgery--I love fitness!) provides a significant upper-hand when it comes to the healing process. My upper body strength has helped tremendously in getting around on the walker (though I do have callouses) and my right leg has been strong and helpful as a support system to my left leg and hip. I'm thankful for this.

I am still non-weight-bearing for now and hoping this will change in the next few weeks. I am debating buying "millenial crutches" as a transition from the walker. Or, I may just keep the walker and move right to one crutch when my body and doctor give the green light.

I am simply amazed at God designed our bodies to intuitively know how to begin healing and reforming after such trauma.


Pain and Numbness:

Though I do have some pain at my incision point, the majority of the pain is actually in my quad area--Denise explained that this is normal as a lot of blood is rushing back down and "getting back into place." The nerves, tendons, muscles, bone are all growing back in and she believes this is causing the ache. I was surprised at how sensitive to the touch my quad (femoris rectus) has felt for these past three weeks.

I sometimes turn in certain directions, while sitting, and feel this excruciating pain.

I ice all day and usually all night long. It's what's most comfortable and I'm looking forward to the inflammation decreasing near the incision.

And lastly, I've been slowly weaning off of taking narcotics every 3 hours. I am down to taking them every 6-8 hours, except on days I am on the bike. I am highly aware of others who have grown a little dependence on the medications and I'm trying my best to listen to my body and wait for the pain to come.

As you can imagine, I'm not driving yet.

The left side of my


Emotional well-being:

For me, my emotional and spiritual health have been vital factors to my healing process. Many of my family and friends have worried about this factor the most. I went from leading an extraordinarily busy and frenzied summer season to now sitting in the same three spots for three weeks (and more to come). Yikes! Week 3 brought some more "rays of hope" in the form of consistent visits from family and friends, new strength coming in my left leg, beautiful incoming Fall weather, healthy meals filling our home (thank you!!), consistent and sacrificial care from Nate, my mom, dad, and many, many others, and a rich time of prayer, reflecting, reading, and writing. Though I did not predict this, I have come to embrace my own version of "hip sabbatical" and many times have thanked Jesus for this rare time of quieting down and returning to center.

I've had hard days and many low moments as well. I feel without purpose. I envy those outside taking a jog or walk, I wonder what I'm missing at Outreach, Inc., I get sad when I can't sleep next to my husband, and I simply get discouraged that I can't walk to the restroom or take a step without my walker. (on a side note, I'm hoping to make it upstairs tonight to finally sleep with Nate in our bed!)

And then, God provides a visit from a friend with a Pumpkin Latte in hand. Or, a wheelchair walk around the Farmer's Market on Saturday morning, and sunflowers to show for it. Or, an impromptu visit from a neighbor or friend. Or, cards or flowers that arrive daily in the mail reminding me to "press on" and to be encouraged. Or, catching up on Arrested Development! I have had family and friends give up time with their kids, spouses, work, etc. to spend time with me and serve me. It is humbling.

My next appointment with Dr. Scheid is on Septmeber 29th. I look forward to seeing my x-rays and noting the bone growth at that 5 week mark.

Beginning Week 3 and Empathy

“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.” Frederick Buechner

We are two weeks into the surgery. Given the immense nature of a hip osteotomy and the longevity of the healing process, you can imagine how much I look forward to getting outside, feeling the sun on my face, and tasting this end-of-summer/pre-fall weather that came upon us this weekend in Indianapolis. So, on Friday, bad mood and all, Nate took me out for a drive and stopped at the Monon (a local bike/running path in Indy) trail for a wheelchair walk. We also stopped to get a little dessert to heal the post-surgery blues. It was strangely romantic and at the same time, vulnerable and exposing. As Nate wheeled me into Huddles for frozen yogurt, I noticed a very different world around me. Kids and adults alike looking intently at this curious 30-year-old in a wheelchair. I recall feeling less confident than usual, putting my head down as to not see the eyes gazing with curiosity. I felt, as I'd imagine to feel, handicapped.

This weekend I have thought a number of times about Friday evening. I tried to enter the "feelings" of what it is like to be "not-so-normal" in this world. And then, I also thought of those who ran across the ice cream store to simply open the door for us. Compassion overtook me as I thought of those who live in this "not-so-normal" way EVERY DAY. Someone else bathes them, EVERY DAY. Someone else has to push them around, take them to the restroom, feed them, brush their hair, EVERY DAY.

And so I thank the Lord for this lesson, this reflection. It stirs a more grateful heart in me when I start to feel sorry for myself. And, it reminds me of the strength within those who know this "handicapped" way so intimately-and then also, the beauty that exists in this world in the form of those who open doors, wait patiently, or stare with kindness and wonder. The Lord has allowed me to take a peak into this unique lifestyle and grow a deep respect for those who are both caretakers and "care-taked, " still living with faith, hope, and love.

It also reminds me to pray for those who struggle to see the beauty within the disability--those who have been overtaken by the bitterness and anger that can so easily overtake a person.

I will choose empathy and gratitude today.

p.s. Thanks to Todd and Angelin for the new Buechner book...

The Revealing

Here are a few pics of our hospital visit as well as my new beauty mark:









Also, before I forget, and because this would have been helpful for me to know, here's a list of items I'd recommend for future hipsters to have for your future surgery visits:

• -Facial cloths
• Baby wipes (you'll need them)
• Dry Shampoo (I found mine at Ulta and despite what others say, this DID work for me!)
• Tooth brush and tooth paste and some gum for moments you don't feel like brushing
• A change of fresh pajamas when you simply cannot stand those hospital suites any longer
• A small mirror to freshen your face when you feel a need to remind yourself of your feminine side
• Deoderant (of course!!)
• I brought my bible, a book, and some magazines but rarely felt a desire to read at all (though my husband read to me and this was soothing)
• A razor in case you feel you've met your quota of 'days without shaving your armpits'
• Unscented Lotion
• Mouthwash
• Chapstick
  

(I may add to this list as my memory comes back!)

What finally did the trick:

Magnesium Citrate (cherry flavor): Pasteurized sparkling saline laxative----BLAHHHH.

Day 7

Finally, FINALLY the nausea has held off long enough to sit and type for a few moments. To be sure, the last two days have been the hardest. The catheter came out on Friday which naturally required that I (we) begin to find out way to the restroom--no small or painless matter. The (lovely) nurses took me off of morphine on Friday as well. Now I am all for weaning off of drug dependence, but this was a tough one. Saturday, after a very effective but difficult PT session, we were officially discharged from Methodist. Dad and Nate took on the difficult task of creating the exact right position for me to fit into the car comfortably on the way home. (side bar: dad put the entire box of flowers near his car while he was loading me up and someone stole some of them out of there--not cool!)

Our dear friends brought us tortellini soup on Saturday evening and sat with me as Nate filled the long list of prescriptions(and mucho $) that I will need for the coming weeks. We were so glad to be home and yet we knew what support we would be leaving behind at the hospital. Saturday night and all day Sunday were very difficult days--I mostly feel like sleeping all the time but when I am awake I feel intense pain in my incision and nausea. We were advised to go to the ER at 3am this morning to relieve some of the nausea. We came home soon after and my new nurses (mom and Nate) have helped relieve some of this pain today. Thank you, Jesus.

Even as I write this, though, I feel such fatigue. As I sign out I look around my living room (my makeshift bedroom for now) and am filled with hope in the form of fresh flowers EVERYWHERE, care packages in the mail, notes of solidarity and encouragement arriving in the mail and by hand, and the smell of fresh rosemary as mom creates

I have my first post-op check-up with Dr. Scheid on Wednesday. We'll see how he thinks I'm doing thus far. And, as soon as I feel up to it, I'll post a pic of the new and revised hip.

Happy 35th birthday to my love.

Day 4 Post-Op

Well, Dad is sitting next to me and he jokingly shared that my last blog was introduced to be a short blurb which then turned into several paragraphs. Guaranteed to be a bit more brief this time around!

Nate slept at home last night as there is no way for him to get up and work today without a good nights sleep. I am awakened almost every 30 minutes...this sort of sleeping schedule doesn't do an automotive technician a whole lot of help the next day! Nate, my mom, and our friend Becky spent some time with me last night amidst my pain increasing. Last night was the worst so far. We could not find the right dosage of pain killer and anti-nausea and anti-itch meds. The woman in the room next to me moaned and screamed the entire night--I prayed for her and felt solidarity as I know I'm just one step away from that response. Dad is here all day with me and Sally stayed with me for the day yesterday. I've also had some sweet time with some other dear friends who have visited, prayed, and read to me.

If you could see my room, you would see a redeemed post-surgery hospital room filled with hydrangeas, encouraging words/cards, 'get well soon' balloons, orchids, cala lillies and a fresh display of wild flowers from Julie's garden. I've been completing a few Sodoku's between sleep time and drug time. I hope to start to read next week once the nausea leaves my system.

The chaplain first visited yesterday, held my hand and sang beautiful hymns over me. What beauty!

Nausea has been horrible today, the same day they are weaning me off of morphine (I will have other drugs, of course, for when I go home). They also took out the catheter this morning, forcing me to make the long trip, via walker, to the restroom. This has truly tested me and no doubt has tested the patience of the PT's!

I'm drugged up pretty well right now and fairly proud of myself for taking those few excruciating steps to the restroom.

They hope to send me home tomorrow...and I'm ready to be home.

Day 3 Update

August 26, 2010

Day three post-operation. Nate and I slept better last night than we have the past few nights. I have almost hourly visits by our RN who is checking vitals, renewing ice packs, and changing over my fluid bags.

I thought I might have the energy to write but even I as sit here the nausea kicks in frequently and large doses of pain erupt. This will likely be a brief posting.

In short, Dr. Scheid confidently shared that the surgery went as well as he could hope it to go. Thank you, God. Dr. did notice some cartilage once he made his way in…he was glad for the timing in this way. Had we waiting much longer to do the surgery the cartilage could have grown into osteo-arthritis, forcing a hip replacement and disallowing my candidacy.

Today I am dealing with large doses of nausea. I just finished PT for the day and I cried (and when I say “cry” I mean weeping and wailing) the entire time. It’s true what they say that every day begins to feel slightly better. Today I celebrate the fact that I could somehow stand up onto the walker. "One day at a time" is our mantra!

For my fellow hipsters who will wonder what sort of symptoms and difficulties I had during this first week, here’s a short blurb:
• Extreme nausea (see above)
• Intense levels of swelling throughout my entire body
• The catheter isn’t so bed (in fact, it has been a saving grace), but one can never prepare themselves for a first catheter experience.
• When the nurses are cleaning/bathing you, the most ungodly screams came from my mouth as the pain of moving to one side or another was simply too much to handle.
• If you have tendencies towards motion sickness, you may want to request a patch behind your ear. This, along with several anti-nausea pills, have surprisingly done their job. Thank you, Lord!
• As you struggle with your body adjustments, know that it will also be an adjustment to have your family, friends, nurses, strangers all taking care of you. Receive, receive…you have offered it to others in the past, I trust, and you will offer it all the more compassionately after this healing process is over.
• Drink LOTS of water once you get out of surgery. Your body will be screaming at you to replenish liquids.
• Don’t cut corners with regard to PT. Let them stretch you and help with incremental next steps. Your PT experience, I believe, will be crucial for the long-term recovery process.
• Lastly, this surgery is as intense and demanding as all fellow hipsters have said it is. I’ve never felt such pain in my life; however, we do believe, even just a few days into this, that this was the right decision. You will suffer and struggle…

I wanted to put a shout-out to all of the care-takers who have gone over and beyond this week: Dr. Scheid, Dr .Maier, Denise (Dr. Scheid’s nurse), all the nurses, C.N.A.’s and PT folks here at Methodist. I have been pleasantly surprised to their attunement to Nate and I during this time.

Thanks to my family and friends (you know who you are) for walking with us this week. Booram’s, thank you for waking early on Tuesday morning, driving down to Methodist (which is SO not close to home for them), and praying over Nate and I as we prepared for surgery . You are you truly spiritual mother and fathers to us. Beth read the scripture (see below) that God had laid on her heart the day before. I have been meditating on this passage as I lay in bed.

And to be lovely husband—who will receive many “jewels in his crown” upon entering heaven  You have, are, and will serve me wholeheartedly during this process—you know the gratefulness I have in my heart for you.

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired , and young men and women stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

Isaiah 40: 28-31

Out of Surgery!

Megan's surgery went very well! She went in this morning at 8:00. They finished the first portion around 9:30, and the 2nd more complicated part at 12:30 p.m. The surgeon(s) said that they were able to make the adjustments they had hoped to make (not always a guarantee that the tissue, muscle, bone will be cooperative). I am so grateful for very competent doctors, and for God's hand in it all..and for so many of you who are praying and providing such amazing support for us right now. Thank you, thank you.

And now we begin the hardest part with recovery. She is now in and out of sleep, with random Megan-like quips out of nowhere. Nice try morphine, you can't keep Megan from knowing what's going on at all times. She is in a lot of pain...praying she'll sleep well tonight... We will let you know when a visit might be appropriate. If you'd like to send something, here's the address:

Methodist Hospital
1701 N. Senate Blvd
Indpls, In 46202
317-962-5500

Entrance

Tomorrow morning Nate and I will groggily enter Methodist Hospital at 6am. I will then enter the surgery room for almost 8 hours. And then, we (and I do mean "we"--that is, Nate and I, and then the dozens of family and friends who have and will willingly "enter" this healing process) will penetrate this lengthy recovery process.

I hope to document some of this experience both for those who simply want to read and for those who will go after me into this strange and unknown world of hip dysplasia. For this week, Nate will be the "articulator" of our story. He will provide updates when he can and do his best to translate these next few days.

We both welcome your prayers tomorrow and this week.


My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise PRESERVES my life. (Psalm 119:50)